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Peace

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Even on a beautiful morning of warm breezes and sunshine, I feel a heaviness in my heart. I should stop reading Richardson's emails because they are filled with the latest assault on our way of life that we've, unfortunately taken for granted for too long. But here we are, fighting an uphill battle to retain our rights. I'm a cultural Jewess as opposed to a religious one, which means I enjoy the traditions, foods, holidays, history and Yiddishisms. I have a mezuzah on my doorpost and often wear a Jewish star on a gold chain but my commitment to attend religious services often wans. But when the going gets tough, as it is now, I look for solace in my own historical past, and others, as the world has never been kind to my ancestors. There's a legend that originates in the Talmud (sacred, ancient religious teachings) that at any given time, there are 36 exceptionally righteous people who spare the world from destruction. They perform selfless acts of loving-kindness which ...
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July

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July is a strange combination of events for me. On the one hand, it's the month we lost Ben to ALS which is always a startling realization. Eighteen years ago yesterday. He'd waited ten months to be able to get a diaphragm pacer to help him breathe so he could spend more time with his son and less lying on the couch. We were so excited to see this happen for him but at that stage in his decline, minor surgery could become major which is what happened to him. A quiet ending for a spirited man. It's also my birthday month which is mostly positive, except when the number is the same as my father's in the last year of his life, it does give me pause. I'm celebrating in a strange way by giving up my car on the last day of the month. When I mentioned to my children that I was just thinking about it, to a person they all agreed this was a 'great idea.' I admit I was a little taken aback. Afterall, I'm a fairly decent driver, still comfortable on the highways, h...
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Insightful Programs

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Eight years ago, I had a bout with pneumonia and had to stay in bed for a month. At the time, I watched every episode of Call the Midwife and found it to be a compelling show, tackling some of life's challenges. As new seasons emerged, I spent a weekend binging. And now it has concluded so it was time to find a new show to watch. My new addiction is Silent Witness, also a British series that began in 1996 and is still going strong. Thirty years strong. That's 30 seasons with ten episodes each, which means there are 300 episodes. I've watched twelve seasons so far, seen my favorite actors leave and get replaced with new favorites. I just happened on it several months ago which was something of a lark. I do love a good crime drama, so I think that's what got my attention at first. For years I watched Law and Order, so I thought this would be similar. Not so. What makes this program so appealing is the story is told from the pathologist's perspective and we see the dev...
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Sharing

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Some people are very private and share little of their inner angst.  There are certainly enough idioms to support this view. "Don't air your dirty linen in public." "Keep your skeletons in the closet." "Keep it behind closed doors."  There's dozens of them that encourage people to put on a happy face even though inside they might be feeling frightened or alone. And while that might be one road to take, I've usually taken the opposite trail. When Ben was diagnosed with ALS, I was beyond crazed. At the time, we lived in Dodgeville on one hundred acres. I remember hiking down to the meadow and screaming at the trees in frustration and anger. Afterwards, my throat hurt and I felt as miserable as I did before. I had a job as the Director of the Family Resource Center in Iowa County which brought me to town every day. I met neighbors and friends on a daily basis and as I walked around the town, whoever greeted me in the usual way of asking how I was,...
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