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Making Plans

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 Most Friday evenings, just as I'm falling asleep, I think about what I'd like to write about the next day to you, but if I don't write it down, I frequently forget the topic. That happened to me today. My daughter and her husband visited me from North Carolina this past week. We had a lovely time together and went to The Domes in Mitchell Park one afternoon, something I had always wanted to do. Some of my Madison family joined us yesterday which was a treat as it always is.  But now, I am staring out the window at the lake, annoyed with myself that I failed to prepare properly for this morning. As if that even makes sense. But the truth is, I do feel an obligation to you, to share some momentary insight, to say hello, to spend part of a morning with you. Not that you would shame or scold me if I failed to produce a missive. I would do that for you. So here I am, thinking about the winter that will soon engulf us with cold winds and hopefully snow. I say hopefully because I...
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Humor

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Yesterday, I was asked to say a few words to the Alzheimer's Walk Group assembled here at Saint John's. Because I lost both my father, in 1991, and my husband, in 2025, to this treacherous disease, would I give a personal experience comment or two. Here's what I said. "Maintain a sense of humor and remember, in their heart, your loved one still loves you."  The truth is, I didn't always have a sense of humor. I was a skinny cry baby. I was teased about my crazy eye and was something of a recluse. I never quite fit in with the 'crowd' and decided I preferred being alone. Childhood memories are often blurry, as are mine, but I know I was a wanted, unhappy child. I pulled my hair tight into a ponytail so that every strand was straight against my scalp, hoping that would help me fit in with the group somehow. Of course, that didn't work. Somewhere in the middle of my teens, I decided to laugh, instead of cry, when things didn't go my way. It wasn...
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Holding Hands

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Sometimes a presentation, program, book or conversation can open our minds and hearts to a new way of approaching some of life's challenges, unexpected pitfalls, new horizons. Dr. Vitek Murthy, former United States Surgeon General, presented his views on loneliness and the importance of connection at Chautauqua this summer.  I had the opportunity to view his extraordinary interview here at Saint John's.  One of the more poignant moments he described was a visit he had with a patient who was frightened about the surgery she was about to have. He felt overwhelmed and confused about what he could say that would be of help to her. Instead of speaking, he simply held her hand for many minutes. Human touch calmed her in a way that no words or statistics or surgical facts could have accomplished.  Which is what made me think about what I miss most now that I live alone. Steve and I held hands when we took a walk together, pulled each other up from the sofa, sat together watching...
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Gloria

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When I was twenty six and pregnant with our second child, Joshua, I went to Anshe Emet Synagogue to hear Gloria Steinem speak. At the time, I'm not sure I knew what to expect. I don't think I even knew who she was. A friend, whose name I can't remember, brought me along with her. What I do remember is it was a riveting experience. I was such an innocent woman, still a child in so many ways. I didn't know what homosexuality was until I was twenty one. Imagine. I wrote a paper on the Sun Also Rises and used the words impotent and emasculated as if they both meant the same thing. Needless to say I didn't do well in that class. The day I heard Gloria speak opened my mind in ways I hadn't realized were shut. She wasn't the first to point out the ways in which women lacked a voice in the world. But she was the most eloquent and elegant woman to speak out on our behalf.  In college, English literature classes were dominated by male authors. In fact I don't thin...
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