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Slowing Down

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I've always loved entertaining family and friends in my home. For nearly twenty years, I prepared dinner for seven people almost every day of the week. Then there were the dinner parties for twelve or the buffets for twenty. I've lost track. But I do remember putting together menus, standing in the kitchen for two, sometimes, three hours. Never gave it a thought. I don't remember complaining, so I know enjoyed it. I was a pretty good cook. No complaints except on the nights I was trying to use up leftovers creatively. And everyone remembers the brussel sprout cranberry disaster during Steve's vegetarian days. This past weekend, I prepared brunch for eight people, my daughter and son-in-law along with wonderful friends and two of their grandsons. Simple meal really of smoked salmon, bagels and a noodle casserole. And yet, I found the entire undertaking challenging. I planned my grocery store trips carefully, mixed up the noodles the day before, baked it that morning, set...
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The Cube

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In 1997, our family welcomed the first two of our nine grandchildren into the world. Our daughter in law, Susan, delivered healthy, twin boys, Adam and Zachary into the world. Traditionally, a Jewish son has to be purchased from a Kohan, a priest, for five silver coins. Or gold perhaps. The service is called a Pidyon Haben. Our very wonderful friend Michael Kaplan (Z"L) performed this ritual for our son Matthew when he was born in 1967, and again for his son Adam as the first born of the twins. We used the same five coins for both.  By then our five adult children were living as far away as Seattle, Portland and Virginia, so reconnecting, sharing each other's news, became a major part of the weekend. Someone, I don't remember who, brought a copy of the book, The Cube ,  with them, thinking this would be a great game to play. And it was. A series of provocative questions are asked. I don't remember any of the questions, my answers or anyone else's, except one. Ben...
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Finding a New Path

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I'm not fond of the word widow. To me, it conjures up black robes, wrinkles and sadness. It's not synonymous with the word crone or wisdom, both of which I embrace wholeheartedly as the true inheritance of a woman who has lived well and past her prime. But I was searching for a word that might describe a woman who had recently lost her husband or partner; a person such as myself.  A grief group was not for me. Just the title depressed me. Between my son Ben and husband Steve, both of whom struggled for a long time with a fatal disease before their deaths, I'd had years of grief in my life and was looking for a way forward, through, and out of that heavy burden. Newly Single Women's Group is the phrase I conjured up to create a support group for those of us searching for new paths in our ever changing world. Being alone is not necessarily lonely, but it does require care and creativity. I wanted to know how others were managing this strange new world of singleness. What ...
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Dodgeville

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We had a place in Dodgeville Wisconsin for several years, from 2000 to 2008. One hundred acres of walnut trees, meadows and a tiny stream. The house was just a few years old but in our usual fashion, we remade the entire interior, putting in a new kitchen, new bathrooms, finishing the basement - the works.  We added a mini barn so Steve could paint. The former owners had planted acres of trees that needed special care so we built a huge barn to hold the tractor that kept the trees weed free. The tractor was  enclosed with air conditioning and a CD player, a source of endless jokes for the neighborhood farmers.   I thought we would spend a month or two there in the summer, weekends occasionally in the winter, but our permanent base would be Chicago. By the end of the first summer, we'd sold our Chicago place mostly at Steve's request. I had no idea what full- time life would be like in the country but I was game for this new experience. After two months, I had second ...
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