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Feeling Grounded

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After about a year of marriage, Steve and I were sitting together on the sofa, not reading books or watching television, just sitting. Neither of us said a word. After about five minutes, I said, "Well, that's it. We've run out of things to talk about." We both laughed. I miss that level of comfort. The presence of another human being who I love, sitting near me, feeling grounded. We can never imagine what it might be like to be truly alone when we're married, especially after sixty years. Of course Steve and I took separate trips from time to time, but then there was the homecoming, the reconnection, the peace, believing we would see each other again. Unfortunately, there's no cure for the loss. But I've found ways to partially fill the void. I've taken on more tasks around here than I probably should, coordinating groups that have different flavors: newly single women, better known as widows, sharing lunch and feelings; the dining committee; a conver...
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I'm probably going to get into trouble for this suggestion, but the issue has been on my mind for some time. Here at Saint John's political discussions are tabu lest someone be offended which I totally understand and support. In the past, we did have candidates running for office present their views, both Democrats and Republicans. But that has waned. In fact lately, we only have current office holders talking about their responsibilities.  I'm absolutely not suggesting we discuss the differences between the two party system that exists. Rather, I think we should have discussions about how government, any government, should function. What is it's responsibility? Is everyone on an equal footing, or do some people have more rights than others?  What about children's rights? In the beginning of our country, only men with property could vote. We have evolved, certainly, but it's only because each of us, in our own small worlds, have demanded change. What else needs ...
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Making Plans

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 Most Friday evenings, just as I'm falling asleep, I think about what I'd like to write about the next day to you, but if I don't write it down, I frequently forget the topic. That happened to me today. My daughter and her husband visited me from North Carolina this past week. We had a lovely time together and went to The Domes in Mitchell Park one afternoon, something I had always wanted to do. Some of my Madison family joined us yesterday which was a treat as it always is.  But now, I am staring out the window at the lake, annoyed with myself that I failed to prepare properly for this morning. As if that even makes sense. But the truth is, I do feel an obligation to you, to share some momentary insight, to say hello, to spend part of a morning with you. Not that you would shame or scold me if I failed to produce a missive. I would do that for you. So here I am, thinking about the winter that will soon engulf us with cold winds and hopefully snow. I say hopefully because I...
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Humor

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Yesterday, I was asked to say a few words to the Alzheimer's Walk Group assembled here at Saint John's. Because I lost both my father, in 1991, and my husband, in 2025, to this treacherous disease, would I give a personal experience comment or two. Here's what I said. "Maintain a sense of humor and remember, in their heart, your loved one still loves you."  The truth is, I didn't always have a sense of humor. I was a skinny cry baby. I was teased about my crazy eye and was something of a recluse. I never quite fit in with the 'crowd' and decided I preferred being alone. Childhood memories are often blurry, as are mine, but I know I was a wanted, unhappy child. I pulled my hair tight into a ponytail so that every strand was straight against my scalp, hoping that would help me fit in with the group somehow. Of course, that didn't work. Somewhere in the middle of my teens, I decided to laugh, instead of cry, when things didn't go my way. It wasn...
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