Burnt Chocolate Stories

Sometimes a presentation, program, book or conversation can open our minds and hearts to a new way of approaching some of life's challenges, unexpected pitfalls, new horizons. Dr. Vitek Murthy, former United States Surgeon General, presented his views on loneliness and the importance of connection at Chautauqua this summer.  I had the opportunity to view his extraordinary interview here at Saint John's.  One of the more poignant moments he described was a visit he had with a patient who was frightened about the surgery she was about to have. He felt overwhelmed and confused about what he could say that would be of help to her. Instead of speaking, he simply held her hand for many minutes. Human touch calmed her in a way that no words or statistics or surgical facts could have accomplished.  Which is what made me think about what I miss most now that I live alone. Steve and I held hands when we took a walk together, pulled each other up from the sofa, sat together watching...

When I was twenty six and pregnant with our second child, Joshua, I went to Anshe Emet Synagogue to hear Gloria Steinem speak. At the time, I'm not sure I knew what to expect. I don't think I even knew who she was. A friend, whose name I can't remember, brought me along with her. What I do remember is it was a riveting experience. I was such an innocent woman, still a child in so many ways. I didn't know what homosexuality was until I was twenty one. Imagine. I wrote a paper on the Sun Also Rises and used the words impotent and emasculated as if they both meant the same thing. Needless to say I didn't do well in that class. The day I heard Gloria speak opened my mind in ways I hadn't realized were shut. She wasn't the first to point out the ways in which women lacked a voice in the world. But she was the most eloquent and elegant woman to speak out on our behalf.  In college, English literature classes were dominated by male authors. In fact I don't thin...

In the late 1980's, when my children were all teenagers, I decided I needed something to boost my self awareness, introspection, purpose. So I took a Wakeful Dreaming Workshop. If you've never heard of such a thing, you are not alone. The seminar took place in the family room of a Leader in Skokie, Illinois. I think there were only four of us, maybe six, a small group. One of us would lie down with our eyes closed while our partner asked questions to help us imagine a scene. "Is it warm, cold, sunny, rainy? Is anyone there? Do you see a path? Are there rocks?" And so on until the image you created in your mind provided a message for you to ponder. Then we would switch places so our partners had a chance to experience their dreams. It was a two day seminar with many different activities, one of which has had a lasting effect on me. At one point, I was walking on my path in my mind, daisies near the trees, a nice pond, a blue bird following me and the question I was ask...