Things Happen
Pieces of me are falling apart. I suppose it's my age - 82 is no spring chicken as they say. I need two implants due to two teeth failing to do their job properly and chew as they have been instructed. That is no easy feat as it takes many months to get it done. And how much mileage will I get out of it? Maybe ten years if I'm lucky. But my children say I need to do these things and spend the small fortune it will cost.
The other night, there was a tiny spider on the ceiling above my bed. At first I thought, how much damage can a tiny spider do. But then it bothered me that it was up there waiting to pounce and bite, so I picked up my slipper, stood on the bed and swiped it off, killing it I suppose, but it disappeared. Then I fell against the wall behind my bed and clocked my right eye, turning it blue and swollen almost immediately. Ice all night kept the swelling down, but the color has become a brilliant rainbow that circles my eye. Nurse Abby confirmed no damage had been done to my head or eye, just to my embarrassment at having been so foolish. Next time, I will use spray net. Or a broom.
I've told myself to walk slower, hold onto the wall when getting my feet into a pair of slacks, not become annoyed when I feel like laying down for a few minutes. My mother never seemed to have any of these issues, although she may simply have never shared them with me. When she was 82, she walked two miles a day, created ceramic figurines, drove her car throughout the Leisure World California community and beyond, visited me in Evanston and Long Grove. She never complained although I wonder if that was just her way of maintaining her independence and vitality.
On the upside, I visited family and friends this summer out of town. I'm going on a cruise and will visit my granddaughter in London in November. My writing has taken hold of me now as I dream about scenes I still need to write for the novel I'm hoping to finish by the end of the year. I'm preparing a few healthy meals for myself instead of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I say yes to every invitation as instructed by my son. And am happy doing so.
Life is complicated. The passages are often challenging. But expecting change and welcoming it is the best advice I can give. And try not to stand on your bed!
So true! I recently fell myself, broke my arm and came away thinking how lucky I was that my injuries were not worse! But this is not about me, it's about you and all the other aging women who experience what you describe -- make sure to hold on to the handrail on the stairs, slow down so you don't catch your foot and fall, you don't need to prove you can still walk across the parking lot as fast as a 40-year-old (or 50- or -60 or-70). It takes strength and determination to get old! No one who hasn't been here can really understand, but WE DO! And we are strong in ways that are mostly invisible to the rest of the world.
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