Slowing Down

I've always loved entertaining family and friends in my home. For nearly twenty years, I prepared dinner for seven people almost every day of the week. Then there were the dinner parties for twelve or the buffets for twenty. I've lost track. But I do remember putting together menus, standing in the kitchen for two, sometimes, three hours. Never gave it a thought. I don't remember complaining, so I know enjoyed it. I was a pretty good cook. No complaints except on the nights I was trying to use up leftovers creatively. And everyone remembers the brussel sprout cranberry disaster during Steve's vegetarian days.

This past weekend, I prepared brunch for eight people, my daughter and son-in-law along with wonderful friends and two of their grandsons. Simple meal really of smoked salmon, bagels and a noodle casserole. And yet, I found the entire undertaking challenging. I planned my grocery store trips carefully, mixed up the noodles the day before, baked it that morning, set the table and still forgot a few items like glasses for orange juice and making coffee. But the eye opening experience was that I had to sit down every twenty minutes or so, take a breath and then continue on with the task at hand. 

Why am I writing about this? Because I've taken personal inventory and realize that self awareness is gained primarily through experience. I had no idea how much I had slowed down, how uneven my memory behaves and how often I run out of steam. Of course I know I am eighty two years old, nearly eighty three. But what of it?  Inside I still think I can handle whatever I decide I want to do. But there are limitations that I have to accept. With grace and humility, I hope.