Here I Am

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Picking up Burnt Chocolate after a silent decade is challenging.  The post I added last August hardly counts since I didn't let anyone know I published it.  In some ways, writing you, my readers from long ago, feels like contacting a long lost boyfriend to see if he still remembers me.  Part of me feels guilty and another part feels anxious.  What if no one remembers me?  What if I’ve lost my mojo?  My memory is definitely not what it was.  Maybe it wasn’t that good in the first place.  Nevertheless, here I am. 

We’re living in Milwaukee now, having moved here from Madison two years ago.  St. John’s on the Lake is a great place for retired folk.  Steve and I fall somewhere near the younger end although there are neighbors here in their 90’s that are anything but doddering.  My first friend here walks five miles a day and is about to celebrate her 86th birthday. Another friend swims 20 lengths in the pool on a daily basis. If I look to my left, there’s a concert pianist and on my right is a renowned history professor.  Dinner plans, concerts, plays, lectures – if I want to be busy every day, all day, there’s always something happening. I’ve taken up mahjong and taken back bridge and become active in the Resident Council governing group.  Great restaurants, new friends, lake views, beautiful decor. But still. . .

I’ve missed writing stories about our family.  Steve and I are in our late 70’s.  Just writing that number scares me a little. The last chapter, the neglected passage, the ‘is this all there is’ moments in life.  Time, on the one hand, seems to be flying by at 1000 miles a minute.  On the other hand, there’s more time than I’ve ever had in my life to be reflective. 

When the children were still at home, before their lives blossomed, I would remind myself to pay attention because in ten years they’d be gone.  Our baby will be 46 years old this August.  Does the longing for those lost days linger forever?  I’m afraid so. Remembering stories from the past brings those days back to life.  Writing about our current life opens doors I didn't know had closed.

So that’s my plan.  To be reflective. To open up conversations between us about anything on our minds or in our worlds.  To share ideas and uncover long lost thoughts. To look for greater understanding of how each of us lives our lives. 

 

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 26, 2020 at 7:19:00 AM CDT

    Welcome back!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJuly 1, 2020 at 12:31:00 PM CDT

    Why "Burnt Chocolate?" The lava cake looks scrumptious! Looking forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete

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