The Positive Pandemic

One of the positive things that has emerged from this pandemic is our weekly family Zoom calls.  Sometimes all 17 of us manage to show up.  Other times a few are missing.  We catch up on what each of us is not doing since our lives now center on marking time and working at home, staying safe and wearing masks. I look forward to these Sunday afternoon visits as much as if everyone were coming over for dinner. And I don’t have to cook!

Here’s what makes these get togethers special:

1. Everyone is comfortable in their own space, lounging in the living room or huddled around the computer.
2. We laugh a lot.  Humor has always played a big part of our lives and has saved us from despair many times.
3. I’m lucky if I see our grandchildren once or twice a year.  Weekly is just amazing.
4. I’m lucky if I see our children and in-laws once or twice a year.  Weekly is wonderful.
5. The grandchildren have reconnected with each other. Maybe not deeply but they are getting to know each other’s quirks.

Speaking of grandchildren, I happened onto a very little story I wrote many years ago about John, Ben’s son, and the lesson he taught me. He was a clever child with a great sense of humor that shines through in Ben’s film Indestructible. 

A few weeks ago, my grandson John, Ben’s seven year old son, and I were having lunch. 

            “Grandma, how many moms do I have?”

            “One mommy, of course.”

            “I mean, how many moms do mom stuff with me?” John started counting on his fingers.

            “Who do you think is a mom person?” I asked, still confused.

John went on to list the following:  his mommy, Aunt Rebeccah, Aunt Sarah, Miranda (his mom’s good friend), Grandma Barb, Elizabeth (his Dad’s caregiver), the gray haired lady (my sister Sandy), Ms. Kate ( his first grade teacher).

            “Let’s do the Dads.” John was clearly on a roll. His Dad, Uncle Josh, Uncle Barry, Grandpa Steve, Tim (film editor), and a few others.  By the time he finished he had more than ten ‘moms’ and ‘dads’ on his list.

We moved on to talk about his baseball games, books he likes to read, his upcoming trip to visit his Aunt Rebeccah in North Carolina.  Afterwards, I was left trying to make sense of the lists he constructed. At the time, I summed it up to his innate sense of resilience and ability to construct support.  Today, his lesson offers a wider perspective.  No matter how challenging an issue presents itself, we have the capacity to alter our perception, find the gold and reframe the experience.        

Our Nine Grandchildren, August 2019