Finding a New Path

I'm not fond of the word widow. To me, it conjures up black robes, wrinkles and sadness. It's not synonymous with the word crone or wisdom, both of which I embrace wholeheartedly as the true inheritance of a woman who has lived well and past her prime. But I was searching for a word that might describe a woman who had recently lost her husband or partner; a person such as myself. 

A grief group was not for me. Just the title depressed me. Between my son Ben and husband Steve, both of whom struggled for a long time with a fatal disease before their deaths, I'd had years of grief in my life and was looking for a way forward, through, and out of that heavy burden.

Newly Single Women's Group is the phrase I conjured up to create a support group for those of us searching for new paths in our ever changing world. Being alone is not necessarily lonely, but it does require care and creativity. I wanted to know how others were managing this strange new world of singleness. What do they do for dinner? Is the television now a friend? Do invitations fall into their lap or do they find themselves content to be alone?

Our group meets on the second Saturday of every month for lunch at Taylor's, right here at Saint John's.  We've discovered that most of us watch a movie while we eat dinner, call a friend once a week whether we want to or not and accept any offers for a night out. When I look around the table, which holds anywhere from eight to ten women, I feel connected just by their presence. 

We all miss the same things too; the goodnight kiss, the morning hug, deciding together what to do that day. I recently found out I'm not the only one who talks to my husband to tell him the news about a grandchild or that the yellow finches have returned for the summer. I've come to think that moving on doesn't mean turning a sharp corner but rather meandering along a slightly different path.