Toddlers

 Every morning, I make a latte in my very old Nespresso machine that continues to limp along after providing me with coffee for nearly fifteen years. The frother died about five years ago so I purchased an inexpensive gizmo that does the job rather than buy a new machine. Sometimes I treat myself to a second or even third latte in the afternoon, which was my plan yesterday.

Just as I was about to pour in the frothy milk, I knocked over the glass which broke, of course, and I had a clean up job which took a good ten minutes. I was aggravated with myself but not deterred. I filled the water dispenser, told myself to slow down and be careful and tried again. Unbelievably, I knocked over the completed latte this time so piles of milky foam floated on the countertop. At least the glass didn't break. If this had happened to someone else, I would have said "It's no bother. Don't be upset." But to me? Another ten minutes of clean up along with a great deal of scolding about what a clutz I have become.   

Three times the charm. I did manage to complete the task and finish enjoying the latte but the whole experience gave me pause. I need to slow down, watch for obstacles in my path, pay attention to the task at hand, don't get distracted. If I'm honest, those are some of the messages I gave my toddlers fifty years ago although in simpler form. Is that what we've become? Toddlers? Of course that's a little joke but in some ways, it's quite true.

When I came across Alicia Lieberman's book many years ago, Emotional Life of the Toddler, I gained new respect and appreciation for the challenges my toddler children faced. How it was understandable that their frustration was rooted in reality and resulted in full throated tantrums. I learned to love more and criticize less.

But just as toddlers pick themselves up every time they fall, do whatever they can to get to the toilet on time, search for the right word to satisfy their needs, it looks like those same challenges follow us to our hopefully, graceful end. I'm searching for a book as insightful as Alicia's for those of us at the other end of the spectrum.

Ben, 1972