Here and Now

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We have John Calvin to thank for the work ethic that permeates our culture.  Wasting time sleeping too much or relaxing were literally considered sins. His belief system seeped into most American's bones and became the reason we struggle with so much angst during our retirement years. We fight against taking a nap, continually search for purpose and productivity during our waking hours, and feel we are taking up space that could be occupied by someone more worthy. It's as if there is someone out there taking measurements of our efforts and putting in a red check mark for any failures.

Europe operates on a whole different plane. Especially southern Europe. Italians, Greeks, Spaniards never swallowed this line of thinking. They nap in the afternoons, eat a leisurely dinner, open their shops when the mood strikes them. I suspect their retirement years look pretty much the same as it has for most of their lives although I've no proof of that.

So here we are, struggling to make sense of our retirement within a Calvinistic mentality. I'm as guilty as anyone. I resist lying down in the afternoons unless I am exhausted, or slept badly instead of just appreciating the luxury of time to relax. "I can do it myself!" is a refrain I began as a child and continue to think, even when I know I can't get up off the floor unless I'm near a chair or a table. My walk is fractured instead of brisk, and I tell myself to stop waddling. The body has its own time table.

And yet. There are moments of such wonder that we may miss if we're not present. Steve and I used to drive up Lake Drive to see the blooms in spring and the colors in fall. Sometimes when we walked around the plaza, he would pick up a leaf to examine the intricacies of the veining. Then he would say, "Look. God-Goddess."

I've begun to believe that's the purpose of retirement. To breathe in the miracles, to pay attention to the beauty, to simply be present.


Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 17, 2026 at 11:25:00 AM CST

    Busyiness doesn’t mean that we are being productive.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 17, 2026 at 12:03:00 PM CST

    Yes, Barbara. It took me a long time to give myself permission to do what I want to do in the moment. It may be playing a game, playing with art materials or as you say...take a nap. I feel blessed that I still am able to do what needs doing. Preparing meals, grocery shopping, carrying in the pretty heavy bags and keeping our home running. My thinking is clear, memory good. These are good years for us. I have to remind myself to get up and move. I am doing better at getting some exercise everyday. Also, trying to watch my diet and take off a few lbs. That one is hard. You and I have done our duties well. Time for just you, now! Enjoy every moment and keep writing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousOctober 17, 2026 at 12:44:00 PM CST

    You are so right. I've been in the productivity trap for my entire life and have the scars to prove it. I think we live in a place that encourages reflection and I'm so grateful for that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 17, 2026 at 1:06:00 PM CST

    Oh my sweet Barb,
    I am many years into retirement and enjoy every day of it. I have moved away from the Calvanist metric of doing and/or being.
    I stay busy, as much as my tired and somewhat broken body will allow me. And I do unapologetically take naps when I can, and revel in the luxury of it… I do it because I can.
    I have many unfinished projects. I say a little prayer of gratitude each morning for the gifts of time and talents, of delight in little things.
    Like you and Steve would do, I look with awe and wonder at the tiniest bug or leaf blown off the oak tree into our pool.
    Thank you for “burning chocolate”for your minions of loved ones.
    Michael Schafer

    ReplyDelete

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